I'm really frustrated and I need to rant because the people I would talk to about this are not available for speaking!
I really wish they were. I need to talk.



So...My stupid ex boyfriend calls me tonight.While I am working. Repeatedly. After I have already been upset because of work stuff, and another ex coming in and being a total prick for no reason...
Why does he call? To apologize for not calling...FOR ALMOST FIVE MONTHS!
Back story: The last time he came over was on my birthday. We had a nice time. Watched a movie and snuggled on my couch a bit before he had to go do his normal stuff. Everything seemed really okay. The next tuesday was his birthday... So I call him and some chick answers... blah blah...skip ahead. He never calls me back... I find out all this stuff about him and other girls and yadda yadda but I NEVER hear a word from him.

After a while I got over it... Until tonight... Now I am just angry and upset and I want to call him back and yell at him (which I was previously unable to do because of being at work.) He didn't have the balls to be upfront with me to begin with; maybe because he didn't want to hurt me. Because lets face it,everyone who knew anything about our so called relationship knew he was just using me for sex. Apparently everyone but me...

Here is how the conversation went:
Josh: Sorry I haven't called in a while, I've been busy with school and work and stuff.
Me: A while... It's been a lot more than a while I would say.
Josh: *silence*
Me: I don't know what you want me to say... You don't call me for months and expect me to forgive you and think I will go back to being whatever the hell I was to you? Really? Not going to happen.
Josh: Ok...
Me: I appreciate the effort, I think, but it's too fucking late for this. The right time to apologize would have been after two weeks...or even three... I'm over it. Over you. And for once really and truly happy with someone.
Josh: Okay.. *sigh* ... Bye. *hangs up*



WTF! I don't know what to feel honestly... I'm angry... Because he is JUST NOW finding the time to consider someone else's feelings other than his own. And because he hurt me and had me really frustrated... Like I don't have enough trust issues. I barely trust the people I love the most; not that they deserve that. And not like I voice that at every turn...

But I feel bad too... Because I never really made any other attempt at contacting him... And then I bitched at when he was trying to do the right thing; however belated...


AND.
I hate my job. The people there treat everyone like shit. The managers are as immature as preteens. And the company isn't run even remotely well... I'm sick of the drama of working with stupid teenagers who are too wrapped up in socializing to do their job. And who gets in trouble for them not working? ME! Because I am their supervisor.

I give up...

I wish there was someone to talk to... =/